An Example of Kindness and Generosity

Kim and I received a wonderful surprise a few days ago in a call from the well known author Ken Blanchard.  He shared words of encouragement for our efforts around Sail the Seven C's after reviewing some information our friend Robin proactively shared with him.  As we talked together about the C's and counter principles born of Love that help us to be our best selves, it occurred to me that Ken's reaching out to us was a perfect example of the 'Kindness' and 'Generosity' we often speak about.  We talked about the challenges of overcoming ego and along those lines, he shared that in so many ways it comes down to overcoming the 'Love of Power' by embracing the 'Power of Love'.  We very much like this sentiment.  After all, what else could it all be about if not this most important principle and its many manifestations. Thank you Ken and Robin for being you!  

Time to Do Those Dishes

Now eight days after Kim's toe surgery, to say it has been painful for her, now flat on her back, is a huge understatement.  She is tough as nails and I've seen tears several times, despite the pain meds.  I've also found myself frustrated time and again at my inability to do less than half of what she was doing before the surgery, while working and taking care of her and our boys.  Slipping into 'Complaining', sometimes even out loud, it's remarkable how little Kim complains about any of it, including me.  Yet I struggle to remain 'Positive and Playful' about everything now on my plate.  I know, selfish, right? 

Kim shared this quote with me, "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional", something I'd read many times before in years past.  Funny how in the midst of life's chaos, it can be challenging to embrace wisdom like this.  She asked me what I thought it meant, while herself wincing in pain.  It didn't occur to me she might be telling me something.  Seeing a possible opportunity to help her, I began to explain that her pain, in fact anything we don't like, really offers a choice in how to take it and that her suffering was indeed optional.  It all has to do with how she chooses to see it.  I went on to urge her to try stepping fully into her pain, relishing the wonderful awareness and presence to life it allowed her without much effort at all.  I know, dumb move right? "Let me cut open your toe, saw down the bone, move the joint, put in a couple of screws and stitch you back up and offer the same wise words," she said.  I left off the expletives of course.  HA!

Come to think of it, guess I should take to heart this wisdom she just shared with me and stop 'Complaining' so much about my temporary state of affairs.  After all, I get the chance to take care of my wife who does the same for me and our boys every other day of her life, 24/7.  "Salad coming right up babe."  Now, time to do those dishes.

The Porcupine's Dilemma

Have you ever heard of the Porcupine's Dilemma?  When porcupines get cold in the winter, they try to get closer to one another to share body heat and stay warm.  Unfortunately, when they get too close to each other, they hit each others' quills and in pain, recoil from one another until the cold compels them once again to try and get closer to each other.

Isn't this kind of how people interact with one another every day?  We crave intimacy and love with our significant other, our family and friends, only to encounter their 'quills', as they respond with one or more of the C's, perhaps 'Complaining, Criticizing, Competing, and Controlling' words and behaviors.  Unconsciously we react similarly, repelling one another until the cold of being alone and distant from those we love and care about forces us once again to try and come closer again, or alternatively look to other porcupines with quills that we hope are less sharp. 

Kim and I have found it interesting that as we age in our relationship and continue to brave each others' pricks of pain, our 'quills' have started to dull some, our skins have gotten thicker and we find it a bit easier these days to--'Be Positive, Playful, Kind, Compassionate, Flexible, Generous, and Accepting'--stay close to one another longer for that much needed love and warmth.  I wonder if porcupines do similarly as they grow old?  Wouldn't that be really cool?  How dull are your quills these days?