Unconditional Love

A central message of Sail the Seven C's is to wake up, be present to life moment to moment, and chose to practice living our lives based on principles born of love.  When I say love, I mean the kind of love that doesn't carry any sort of requirement for it to be given.

I got a chance to witness first hand an incredible expression of unconditional love just last weekend.  A very good friend of ours invited us to attend her son's Bar Mitzvah.  What an absolutely beautiful event in every conceivable way.  At one particular point, as our friend's son recited several passages in Hebrew, I watched his mother, a few steps away, intently fixated on her son.  She was so present to life at that moment.  You couldn't have pulled her attention away if you tried.  Without a word spoken, you could literally see the love for her son emanating from her.  Her immense pride could not be hidden.  She was no where else but right there, with him, supporting him and yet at the same time letting him stand on his own.  The smile on her face was so wonderful to see, as she silently mouthed the sacred words that her son spoke.  He had no doubt she was there for him, and in front of us all, he later thanked her for all she did and does for him, returning that unconditional love and bond between a son and his mother.

Perhaps it's too difficult to ever express in words, whatever language is spoken, just what unconditional love is, or even being truly present to life for that matter.  I'm confident though that I witnessed it during these very special moments, even though I didn't understand all the words spoken.  To me, this is what life is all about, rather than all the 'stuff' we so often get caught up in when we aren't consciously present to life.  I'm grateful for having had the chance to be there.  To be reminded why we are really here and the overwhelming importance of love, the great unifier, found in every enduring faith and the secular world.  Think about it.  What else could it be about if not love?  Mazel tov.  Shalom.

Rolling Over a Rolly Polly

Did you ever play around with those little rolly-polly bugs as a kid? I used to love how they would roll up in a ball for protection when touched to then, after some time, uncurl and off they would go.  Unlike some bugs, you could let them crawl all over you without a worry in the world. 

Toward the end of last week, while briskly pulling a cart full of training materials, I saw one slowly crawling across my path directly in front of me.  In one brief second I thought, "is it possible that I might run over this doodle bug with the cart I'm pulling?"  Instead of stopping to be sure I avoided this possibility, I simply kept going in my rush, looking back just as the cart's wheels accidently crushed the rolly-polly.  "Shoot!"  Why didn't I simply pause from my hurried pace to be more careful and considerate?  Yes, careful and considerate of a rolly-polly.  Despite how you feel about these awesome little guys, don't we often get so busy doing and moving about here and there, that we fail to do what we our self would honestly acknowledge we would rather do...like pause for a rolly-polly for instance?  I know, it's just a rolly-polly Preston.  Yet I wonder if we almost unconsciously treat our fellow human beings just like the rolly-polly, when all we have to do is wake up from our sleep walking, slow down, and just be present and aware to the life around us.  After all, why are we in such a hurry anyway?  The rolly-polly isn't...then again, look what happened to the slow, rolly-polly.  HA!

Is it better to be an optimist or a pessimist?

This is Kim.....I wonder, could the answer to the question, optimist or pessimist be neither?  Think about it.  The optimist sees the glass half full, while the pessimist sees the glass half empty.  Essentially, an optimist is likely positive in expectation about the future and a pessimist is likely negative in expectation about the future.  Common to both is thinking about the unknown future.  Is either then in the present moment?   

Preston and I were 'competing' with one another just last night, having a lengthy debate about this very topic and its relationship to happiness and best outcomes in life.  Our oldest, Caleb, was stressing over a math quiz the next day, telling us he just felt it in his gut that despite doing his best to study and prepare, he wasn't going to do well.  Preston offered that if he chose to think that way already, this would negatively impact the likely result.  He argued that if you say you won't do well, guess what, you won't.  Why not consider choosing to embrace a different mindset, where thinking positively about his ability to do well on the quiz would increase the likelihood that Caleb's outcome would turn out positive?  I argued that it was best to be a happy pessimist, because they imagine all the things that could possibly go wrong and when they turn out right, or at very least better than expected, they are pleasantly surprised.  I wondered if the optimist is constantly let down, because things never go as well as imagined?  We looked up all kinds of research to support both points of view before realizing that the danger for both optimists and pessimists were being wrapped up in the future and not present. 

I wonder, instead of seeing the glass half full as an optimist, or half empty as a pessimist, why not consider that the glass "just is"?  Why be worried at all about what the future holds?  Why not simply choose to be "Nowist"!?  The present moment is all we can be sure of anyway. 

Some Good Old Fashioned Bread Pudding

I got a rock chip in my wind shield last week and went to a glass shop in a nearby city to get it fixed.  While there, Kim, Isaac, and I met an absolutely wonderful lady.  Immediately, she revealed her kind, loving presence with her smile and heartfelt greeting to everyone.  You could just tell in every possible way this was a genuinely good person.  She was picking up her favorite cooking dish, now empty, that she had loaned to the people of the glass shop, having provided them with her old fashioned bread pudding a few days prior.  I thought that she must have someone in her family or a dear friend that works here for her to have gone to so much trouble.  After all, old fashioned bread pudding takes meticulous preparation and time to make.  The repair to our windshield was soon done and we all left about the same time, saying warm goodbyes and well wishes.  Kim and I discussed how nice it was to have encountered such a lovely lady and wondered what caused her to make such a kind gesture of making her bread pudding for the people working at the glass shop.

The very next day, while taking a long walk around town, we got our chance to find out.  Kim spotted the very same lady driving down main street, turning into a local store.  Oh my goodness, what were the chances of seeing the same lady in our town?  We both turned and walked back to the store to say hello, struck by the coincidental nature of seeing her again.  Realizing we weren't actually headed into the store, she exclaimed, "You came over just to say hi to me?  I could just hug you both."  We chatted for some time, learning a bit more about each other, our families, and asking her about the various ways she gave her time, talents, and money to those in need.

Curious, I decided to ask her about the bread pudding and who she knew that worked at the glass shop.  Turned out, she didn't really know anyone in particular.  The glass shop had provided her an estimate on fixing some windows and repaired a glass pitcher she needed to skim the milk for making her bread pudding, all free of charge.  Yep, that's right.  I know, hard to believe, right.  Free of charge.  She shared that she absolutely had to cook for them all the very pudding she was then able to make, because of their generous help.  Kim commented, "Wow, you don't really find kindness like that too often anymore."  She responded immediately, "I know, they really were so very nice to me."  We said our goodbyes and Kim and I later talked about how remarkable she was.  How she automatically interpreted Kim's compliment, meant for her, as being intended for the people at the glass shop.  Is it possible that this kindest of ladies was so humble, so constantly focused on helping and giving to others, that she rarely thought about her own needs at all?  I think the answer is definitely yes, and she was clearly happy for it.  Hmmmmm....what old fashioned bread pudding can I give someone today?