Mistakes Made or Making Progress?

What if we could all rescript our self in how we view our mistakes made?  What if we saw every misstep as a chance to learn and an inevitable, even critical part of our making progress?  What if mistakes were nothing to fear or beat oneself up over at all?  A rather humorous case in point that while watching our recent TEDx talk for the first time, a few of those pesky C’s immediately started up again in my mind.  I began to complain and criticize myself for all the things I felt were mistakes I made, missing this or doing that.  Funny and ironic don’t you think, that in this short video, all about Sailing the Seven C’s, I’m not sailing them while watching the message back?  HA!  Shows how hard Sailing the Seven C’s is I suppose, as well as my need to rescript myself to see my mistakes as continued progress and a chance to do better next time.  Heck, it’s like I tell our boys, “do your best and let go of the rest”.  Oh wait, there is the part of the video where Dr. Tyson flies in and reminds me to be positive and playful.  Thanks for the reminder Tyson.  Stop, drop, and be baby!   



https://youtu.be/Ve_-FL_65HU

Thanks for the Reminder Isaac

Our youngest Isaac, a year or so ago, had a major, inconsolable meltdown.  Before he could read all the words, he accidentally pushed the reset save data button on his level 92 video game character and lost literally months of his hard-earned gaming work.  To say he was completely devastated is a gross understatement.  It seemed as though he loved this game and his character as much as his family.  Despite my best efforts to offer him that simply choosing to see this unfortunate event differently, as an opportunity to have fun doing it all over again, the truth was he wasn’t prepared to go there.  Finally, months later and just this weekend he announced to me that he had finally reached level 88 again.  “Wow!  That’s awesome Isaac.  Nice work.  Level 88 really isn’t that different than 92, is it?”  He replied, “Yeah, I can read now, and my character is actually way better than my last one.”  I guess it takes extra time and perseverance sometimes to let go of clinging, especially when it’s something that means so much to us.  Thanks for the reminder my son.

Thank You TEDxLizardCreek!!!

Kim, Issac, and I just returned from meeting new friends, the amazing people involved with TEDxLizardCreek 2017, held in Henrico, North Carolina.  People from all walks of life coming together to explore peoples’ stories and passions.  While driving home, it occurred to us how much everyone there—the incredibly gracious hosts doing all the hard work to make it happen, the participants in the event, as well as the speakers—were already modeling every single one of the principles born of Love that we espouse in the Sail the Seven C’s philosophy.  Principles of generosity, flexibility, gratitude, contentment, simplicity, acceptance, positivity, playfulness, kindness, compassion, as well as letting go, we each experienced in abundance.  Not once did we sense those pesky C behaviors at play.  How cool is that?  We feel so grateful and humbled.  We wished so much that we could have had more precious time with such awesome people.  A heartfelt thank you to our new friends.    

It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman?

I still get nervous speaking in front of groups of people even after many years of doing so.  If I’m particularly anxious for some reason, I like to wear my special “Superman” boxers to give me an extra boost of luck and confidence.  I know, right.  TMI.  Except that Kim was just pointing out to me that I might be clinging to this particular pair of underwear and it might be time to Let Go.  I don’t know babe; do you really think so? 

Who Loves Grocery Shopping?

Our Isaac just loves grocery shopping.  Seriously?  While I’m betting his fondness for shopping, groceries in particular, will undoubtedly wane in time, wouldn’t it be cool to experience anything, whether new or not, with the same level of excitement and enthusiasm?  Truth is, it’s possible.  We just have to consciously choose to look at whatever we are doing as if for the first time once again.  Why not give it a try and see what might open up? You might just fall in love with grocery shopping all over again.

Only One Day Left?

Imagine that you knew you only had one more day of sand remaining in your hourglass.  Tomorrow you would pass with no more time.  How would you see the people and things around you?  Would you see the world and life as if for the first time?  Wouldn’t it be easier to Sail the Seven C’s if this were the case?  Wouldn’t it be simple to instead, readily embrace the principles born of love?  Of course, we don’t know how much sand we have left.  So why not embrace and appreciate how precious every grain of sand is regardless? 

Coco Sailing the Seven C’s

Isn’t is awesome what animals can teach us if we just pay attention?  No chasing, clinging, or controlling here.  Nowhere to go, nothing to do.  No fuss, no muss.  Just being, genuinely enjoying and soaking up the simplest gifts of life with zero expectations.  Way cool!  

A Healthy Reminder from Dr. Tyson

Well we’re back from summer vacation 2017 having brought along a positive & playful work colleague and friend with us for this road trip out west.  The good Dr. Tyson regularly reminds us all not to take life, others, or our self so seriously.  He just has a way of living simply and fully present, not worrying about anything else while thoroughly enjoying life, others, and himself.  Thanks for the reminder Tyson.  I think I will try and carry some of that with me as I get back to work.

"Guess I Was Too Busy Being In the Now"

Don't we often wonder whether what we share with our children ever truly sinks in?  Several days ago Kim was driving our 14 year old son, Jonah, and a few of the neighborhood boys to school.  They were all talking, laughing, and clearly enjoying their conversation.  After Jonah exited the car, Kim noticed he didn't have his backpack and upon quickly scanning the car, realized he forgot it at home.  She yelled out the window but he was still so engrossed in conversation that he didn't hear her.  She pulled around to the parking lot and phoned him.  A minute later he returned to the car and she asked, "Missing anything, Jonah?"  He replied, "I don't think so."  "Your backpack silly", Kim announced.  They rushed home and made it back to school just in the nick of time.  Just as he was stepping out of the car once more, Kim asked, "Jonah, how did you not notice at any point that you didn't have your backpack with you earlier?"  He paused for a second to think and responded while laughing, "I don't know mom.  I guess I was too busy being in the now.  Maybe this incident will be a good post for Daddy's blog?"  "I think you're right son.  I think you're right." 

There's Always Dig Out Monday

Kim was recently chatting with some friends stressed about the challenges of keeping a clean house with young children, particularly on the weekend.  Kim, a bit of a perfectionist who also used to get anxious about this remarked, “Don’t worry about it ladies.  If you have kids and your house is perfectly clean, you’re doing something wrong.”  While I get that this is probably not true in every circumstance, I do get her point.  Why not let go of the need to be the perfect supermom, do it all, and have a spotless house?  Wouldn’t you much rather simplify your life, focusing your precious time on the few absolute most important matters in your life, like playing, teaching, and being fully present with your loved ones?  If you don’t think so now, I promise you will one day.  “What’s that Isaac?  Time for the Hot Lava game?  Daddy and Mommy have so much to do”.  On second thought, sounds great.  I hear Kim behind me, “I always have dig out Monday.”  Thanks babe.

What do you enjoy most about your life?  Here is a poem from this week’s Purcellville Gazette.  The best things in life truly are free, if we just pay attention.  Thanks Jonah!

Criticize Self, Criticize Others

The other day our 16 year old son Caleb was feeling particularly down.  When Kim asked him about it, he told her that he wasn't smart enough, handsome enough, essentially not good enough.  As we work hard to constantly express positive, affirming words toward our children, Kim was concerned.  He must be feeling the pressure from his peers at school.  Researching online some of the possible reasons kids can feel down about themselves, she was surprised at what she found.  One risk factor, based on research, was children being exposed to parents consistently saying bad things about--criticizing--themselves, much less others.

While I can honestly say I rarely hear Kim criticizing others, much less our boys, I often talk with her about how much I wish she would stop criticizing herself, focused most often on how she looks.  I know right.  She is gorgeous.  Truth is, every one of us is gorgeous.  We just don't know and believe it.  While we can more easily see the negative impact on others when we criticize them, how many of us realize what we might be doing similarly when we criticize our self?  Bottom line, why not stop criticizing all together, both self and others, and choose to be kind and compassionate instead?  By the way, Kim hates to have her picture taken.  HA!  

A Lesson from Isaac

What is it about kids that they are so resilient, so invested in experiencing and savoring every part of life,  that they refuse to let sickness take them down if at all possible?  Take our 6-year-old Isaac, who just came down with a stomach bug.  In a simple, matter of fact manner, he announces, “Momma, I’ve got pee pee coming out my bottom!”  Not to mention him throwing up just a few seconds later.  Over and over, all day long as Kim, the wonderful mom she is, takes care of him and everything else along the way.  Despite all of this, you would think Isaac was feeling absolutely amazing in between times when the bug is taking its toll.  How does he and other young kids do it?

I want to be like that, all the time.  Where nothing, not even a stomach bug, takes me down.  I want to tackle anything life throws at me, whatever the challenge, and choose to be resilient, embracing all of life, good and bad, no matter what.  As much as possible, I want to find again that child in me, like my Isaac, who welcomes and savors all of life, good and bad.  Thanks for the lesson and reminder my son.  Maybe we all just need to take time to stop growing up?

Getting My Fire to Burn

I was grateful that a participant in one of our recent workshops shared a cool poem with me by Judy Brown called "Fire".  It explores the importance of reflection, inner thought, and feeling to one's leadership.  It made me think about how I used to shove far too much wood into our wood stove when we first got it, then wondering why it was so difficult to get my fire to burn.  I failed to realize I needed more empty space between the wood, more oxygen for the fire to burn.  As I reflected on this, I believe lately I've been shoving far too much wood into a proposal for my next assignment at work.  I've been failing to Sail every one of the Seven C's. 

You see I've been chasing this specific job proposal and only this one assignment, clinging to my notion of what it should look like and being able to continue working with long-time friends, and doing everything I can think of to control the outcome and the responses of others, despite continued resistance from a few key stakeholders.  As I reflect further, my approach to date has also had far too much competing, comparing, criticizing, and complaining.  It's time to stop, drop, and be.  Time to let go, accept my circumstances, and be more grateful, flexible, positive, kind, and compassionate.  Time to simplify my goals and be open to other possibilities, whatever they may be.  There now, that wasn't so hard.  I now have just the right amount of wood in my stove for my fire to burn.    

What's On Your Problem's List?

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your problems?  I often explore in our workshops the power of writing down a gratitude list to change our focus to all we can be thankful for, but Kim suggested the other day writing down a problem's list.  Why on Earth would we want to focus more attention on our problems, I thought?  Well it turns out that with a problem's list, comparing has the potential to offer a positive result.  First, write down on a piece of paper all of the challenges you are currently facing and then for each one, consider how with absolute certainty, someone somewhere is far worse off than you.  You may very well know someone for which this is the case. 

For a silly yet annoying example, let's say I'm complaining about my new progressive glasses that I'm now struggling to assimilate to.  Due to the nature of these glasses, literally everyone to the sides of my lenses are blurry (just forget about peripheral vision) and I have to literally bob my head up and down depending on the distance something is from my eyes in order to keep the object in focus.  You can only imagine how much fun Kim has had with this, case in point, this video.  Laughing hysterically, she keeps walking closer to me and then backing away, enjoying how I have to move my head up and down in the process.  Is that messed up or what?

Then I take her advice.  I write it down on my problem's list, thinking carefully about others who might have it worse.  Hmmmm.  Come to think of it, I guess I'm pretty darn lucky to be able to see at all.  Maybe adjusting to these progressives isn't such a big deal.  Hey, and on second thought, maybe my problem's list is actually just another gratitude list after all?  

"Throw Sun, Not Shade"

Have you ever heard someone use the words, "throw shade"?  I overheard a couple of Caleb's friends using these words a few times.  I asked Caleb what it meant and he explained.  I decided to check it out online, going to UrbanDictionary, that defines throw shade as 'talk trash about a friend or acquaintance, to publicly denounce or disrespect'.  Sounds like the 'criticizing and complaining' C's to me.  Not wanting to miss an opportunity to tease Caleb, I started using the words over and over again and told him I was going to start talking like that around his friends.  "Don't do that Dad.  Those words are so dead.  You have zero chill."  I replied grinning, "Hey, you're throwing shade at me right now Caleb.  Savage, right?  By the way, what the heck is a zero chill?" 

Seriously, don't we unconsciously throw far too much shade around these days and to what end?  As Kim says, why not choose to throw sun instead?  It's so much better for everyone, our self included.  Isn't "throwing sun" a cool way to express Sailing the Seven C's of criticizing and complaining (ie. throwing shade)?   Why not throw sun and be kind, compassionate, positive, and playful instead?  Besides, UrbanDictinary adds to its definition that, 'When throwing shade it's immediately obvious to on-lookers that the thrower, and not the throwee, is the uncool one.'  So, what about it everyone?  Throwing sun is the bomb.com.  Let's give a shout out or #hashtag to throw sun, not shade.  "Amirite?"  Okay, am I trying too hard to be an extra with that last one?  LOL

Are You Getting Enough Vitamin S?

Well, it's been almost two months now and I'm still not back to 100 %.  I keep thinking I'm going to wake up one morning and finally, once again, fully appreciate what it feels like to be completely well.  Won't that be awesome, I think?  I can't remember a time when our entire family, all five of us, have been so sick for so long.  For a time, it seemed like every couple of seconds a coughing fit would ring through the entire house from one or more of us.  I guess the viruses had the upper hand this winter.  What to do, other than eat more veggies, rest, try not to stress too much, and just be patient?  Perhaps there's one more thing I can do.  "I'm choosing to take some more vitamin S babe."  Kim asks, "Vitamin S.  What's that?"  "Vitamin SMILE", I say.  "Sick or not, simply SMILE and keep on smiling."   I can choose to smile through it, all the while sailing the seven C's.  After all, even if I feel lousy, I still have sand left in my hour glass to thoroughly enjoy.  Sure beats the alternative, don't you think?  In fact, experts believe that smiling actually boosts your immune system....wow!  So, why not?  You have nothing to loose and there's never a need to worry about overdosing on lots of Vitamin S.

It's That Time Again

It's that time again.  Our New Year's resolutions made.  Whatever they are, losing some extra weight, eating better, exercising more or cutting back on certain habits--darn those video games--that in excess, can take us away from other, more important life matters, it's scary how many of our commitments can easily become excuses to get lost at one or more of the Seven C's.  Perhaps it's competing with and comparing our self to others, clinging to a belief that we absolutely must be successful "this time" in meeting our New Year commitments?  Perhaps, we are once again chasing that illusory "I'll be happy when..." moment in some unknown future?  Perhaps it's expending every effort to control all aspects of our life in futile fashion, despite some days not feeling well like today or choosing to deal with even more important life circumstances at the time, then complaining and criticizing ourselves when we fall short of our yearly goals? 

The fundamental truth, pure and simple, is that each of us needs nothing more to be happy, not one darn thing, save for this moment, here and right now.  We can decide moment to moment how to engage others, simplifying our life by choosing to focus our time and energy only on what truly matters.  We can choose to just let go and accept life and our self with flexibility, generosity, kindness and compassion.  In sometimes seemingly radical fashion, we can choose to love our self and life just as we and it are, regardless.  Each of us is of infinite beauty, worth, and deserving of love, regardless of our successes and failures, resolutions or not.  Whenever we come up short, why not simply choose to be grateful and content this very moment, the only place where happiness and love can ever be.  It's not to say we shouldn't make New Year's resolutions, but perhaps commit to those goals that will truly make us happier absent any judgements and of course those pesky seven C's.  I won't beat myself up this New Year over all the hours, okay probably many days, wasted on video games that could've been spent more effectively, but I might cut back some and trade those extra hours for some quality family time.  "What's that Jonah?  Another round of Splendor?  I'm in!"

Yep, it's that time again.  Happy New Year everyone...right here, right now!

Embrace Your Rudolph

We just went to our friends' ugly holiday sweater party a few nights ago.  My talented wife created a masterful Christmas Tree outfit for herself.  I'm serious, everyone knew she was a Christmas tree.  Turns out she had struggled to find an ugly sweater for me, though I honestly didn't care.  I was just grateful she picked something up for me at all...well, so I thought.  As I put on the sweater vest, the first thing I noticed was that it was way too small for me.  Tiny in fact, despite the tag saying large.  What gives I thought?  Next, I found that it buttoned left to right, versus right to left.  "This thing has been sewn backwards", I announced.  "Hey, wait a minute, look at these holiday patches?  Babe, this is a girl's sweater!"  Laughing hysterically, she responded sheepishly, "I know, isn't it great?"  Finally, she added two more critical items, the way too short holiday tie that plays Christmas music and a reindeer hat.  "Now, this is truly ridiculous.  I look like Rudolph!", I exclaimed.  Time for Preston to get all bothered and start to complain and criticize her choice for me.  Nope, not this time.  "Stop, drop, and be", I think instead.  Look at my best friend's gleeful face.  Much better to be positive and playful, don't you think?  Besides, I shouldn't worry about what others think anyway, especially if I can get some laughs.  A little self deprecating humor never hurt anyone.  Besides, wasn't it Rudolph's shiny, red, nose that made him so special?

Sailing the Seven C's with a Bouquet of Cats

We can learn so much from nature, particular our pets, if we choose to simply be present and pay attention.  Darryl, a great friend of ours, loves his cats.  He recently shared what each of them has taught him over the years.

"Ari enjoys every moment of life and purrs constantly, teaching me to live in the moment and that life is too short not to have fun.  Cassie taught me that love is unconditional, especially for the most vulnerable, be they animal or human.  Soc (Socrates) and Moses, rescued from a trash can as kittens, taught me that no matter where you start out in life, there is hope.  D'Artangnan (Dart) has taught me that one can't appreciate the small things in life enough, for example a warm sun beam."

Thank you Darryl and thank you to your wonderful bouquet of cats for their powerful examples, we submit are the central messages of Sail the Seven C's.

(Dart - Top Left, Moses - Top Right, Ari - Bottom Right, Socrates - Bottom Left, Cassie - Middle)